Reclaiming My Workspace
Updated: Dec 13, 2021
I've worked at a PC for my career, from home, since about 2000 - though with a few gaps in-between. For most of that time though, a PC has been the way I made my living. In some ways, one might think that's amazing, that's freedom, whatever. In others, though - it was the opposite. The space where you might normally consider a sanctuary, your home, becomes also the place of stress and anxiousness and deadlines; a place where it becomes very hard to "walk away and go home" because you ARE home. Some days didn't end, they became mornings. Don't get me wrong, though. The other side of this - and one reason it was so hard to leave - is that it allowed me to live where I wanted, when I wanted, and that will always be something that am grateful to have had.
That said, that world is a closed chapter. I still am at my PC a lot, for music, for study, for games, writing, working on the site, or Twitter - but..now this is my space for my reasons.
I hadn't changed it to reflect that though. Some things have been here awhile: Kryten 2.0, second build in this Corsair case, just built before the GPU industry went haywire, so he's as pimped as he can be, for now - along with my good-but-old BENQ monitor which is still going strong after quite a few years. But the walls before me, they had always been bare. Bereft of inspiration, I had simply never bothered. (Other parts of the room, at least, have guitars and such hanging on them, so it's not completely dull in here). But in this way, I would lift my head and look forward from this chair, see only grey before me, empty and still, and some part of me...some part of me thinks that was a deliberate choice. As blank, and quiet as it needed to be in order to balance the burning, stressed and anxious mind sitting before it.
Well, no-fucking-more. On a whim I had two of the files printed (pre-Gimp framing .pngs). The Black Flag rare Ada, to see how the black tones would print and the rare Beethoven, because I just love it. They are a bit dark, perhaps - makes sense as they're not in a digital screen but on paper. But overall, Redbubble did a good job and I can see how I might order others ....just with a bit of a tweak first.
But mainly now I look up and I see a victory of sorts. That rare time in my life where I silenced negative voices in my head, silenced fear and self-doubt and just kept painting, just kept creating, just kept GOING.
Worry less. Paint more. Fear less. Compose more. Dwell less. Do more.
I'm going to keep doing that. It's important.